Picture this: you’re wasting half a tank driving circles around this lot looking for a parking space (and, at this point, you don’t care how far it is because you’re willing to walk the extra mile to BK for that flame-broiled goodness, chafing thighs or not) to no avail.

Ignoring the fact that it looks like you blasted into the past in your Dolorean at 88 MPH (I couldn’t find a better representative picture, turd), you finally find a spot. Seriously praising whichever god(s) you worship always or whenever it suits you, you get ready to turn and see this:

I hate you, SmartCar.

There is no point to them. They get good mileage, you say? So do the Toyota Prius/Yaris, Honda Insight/Fit, Scion boxes, etc. And while I’d probably continue to complain about the SmartCar’s many shortcomings (auto/manual combo transmission, ZERO trunk space, etc.) without having driven one anyway, I’ve actually driven one. Come to think of it, you’ve all driven one at one point:

If I was still two feet tall with nothing to tow around but my saggy diaper and a sippy cup, the SmartCar might actually be a viable choice. As a somewhat functional adult, I’d like to leave the grocery store with more than a bag of Skittles in my trunk.