MCDELIVERY

You’d think by now we’d be wearing TV glasses, moving around in hovercraft chairs and injecting McDonald’s Big Macs straight into our veins. Instead, like chumps, we wait five minutes at the drive-thru while folks from Egypt to Taipei are getting their flame broiled goodness delivered.

What the hell, McDonald’s? Could you possibly find a more profound way to piss all over America? Are we not the insatiable public that ate our weight (and then some) in McRibs, making you the insanely successful company you are today? This is how you reward our loyalty; by making us get in our cars, drive one mile in any direction to the nearest McDonald’s, and wait five whole minutes for our beloved McNuggets?

This injustice will not go unpunished, McDonald’s. From here on out, I will only patronize you once a day, and I’ll be damned if you’ll get me to Super Size anything.

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