BUY MORE

As of late, Gabe has been harassing me to write more, but I’m just… See, I can’t even construct a sentence to relate my inability to write lately. Maybe it’s writer’s block or my agoraphobic behavior, but I just don’t feel like I have anything to say and it’s like pulling teeth to do so.

So, it’s time to pull out the big guns (which is really my cop-out attempt to have a blog post before the month of July ends): Facebook ads. I’ve been conducting a very scientific (see also: lazy, haphazard) study of ads on Facebook. In conclusion, they are intriguingly odd and disturbing. Unfortunately, because of my, well, lack of commitment, I wasn’t quite as thorough as I could have been so most of the examples are all for the same advertisement. To be fair, I will only make fun of those, though I’m sure 90% of them are all worthy of my mockery.

I’m not sure if you’ve guessed by now based on my many posts calling children little dillholes and turds, but Iiiiiiiii don’t really like kids. There about four kids in my life that I absolutely love and the rest can go fly a kite. Regardless of my distaste for the little brutes, who in their right mind would be a social worker after seeing these ads? Call me crazy, but watching a child’s head spin around while it spews green vom everywhere is not my idea of a good time. I’m also not looking to be probed by two wonky alien babies. Who does their PR because, just sayin’, these babies are whack.

 

Now, here’s an ad that tells it like it is. If you’re planning a visit to Tampa, may I present to you your biggest incentive. Plus, it’s a Groupon, so you know it’s a deal.

Tip: if your facial hair is so bad that you previously had to attack it with a razor, give up. Stop giving people hope, American Laser Center.

 

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