POINTLESS

So, heh, guess I’m a little slow on the uptake, but I just realized my blog has no point. It’s really just an excuse for me to complain (profusely) or try to make you laugh (unsuccessfully) about, well, absolutely nothing.

I’ve never been featured on the front page of WordPress, which I can only attribute to the fact that either my posts are 1) not relevant and/or 2) ridiculous. Still, have my charming witticisms been overlooked? Surely not; thus I must seek out some direction for my blog.

Maybe I could get pregnant. Shit yeah: If there’s one thing I’ve learned about baby blogs, it’s that other moms care about your baby as much as you do (or at least pretend to long enough to support your blog). But then I’d have to deal with this. And the nine months before dealing with this in which I’d have to deal with this:

Seriously, the more I think about in the last two minutes I’ve been thinking about it, having a baby is lamesville. I think I’ll write a blog about all of the reasons not to have a baby. And when I start to get baby fever, I’ll just Google “crying baby” or “baby puke” for a quick fix. But, let’s move on, obviously a baby or anti-baby blog is out of the picture for now (and, probably, forever).

I could get into the tourist blog. Only, I’m not really into flying, so maybe I could tour places that are car accessible. Only, I’m pretty lazy, so this moves my new blog from a travel blog to like a, um, local hotspots kind of thing. You’d be into that, right? Heck, even if you live in Montana, you might be interested in what’s going on around Florida, right? Well, you do live in Montana, so I guess you’re not really representative of the US. Seriously, what’s up with Montana? Have you ever paid attention to commercials in which a company will show you all of its locations on a US map? There is never anything in Montana! Here is a map I could find of something in Montana (McDonalds) and even then there are only, like, 20 McDonalds in Montana. Look at the black holes¹ in other places because of the high concentrations of red dots. New Jersey, which is the size of one of Montana’s boogers, has one million more McDonalds(es?) than Montana. Sup, Montana?

What was I talking about? Heck, I don’t know. Hey, what about this: If you had a choice between being the top scientist in your field or gettin’ Mad Cow Disease, what would it be?

¹ McDonalds is a black hole.

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